<center>Gather around, Oneiromancers, for on this day we bring to thee,
A story, straight from the mouth of Vindhlér!
The man of many names;
Watcher of Asgard;
Born of the seas;
The All-Seer;
Praise be to his name, and <b>[[listen]].</b></center><center> <h1>Aegir's Promise</h1>
The tale begins like this:
The Aesir Thor has barged into the hall of [[Aegir]]...</center>//"Aegir, my friend!//"
"Fuck," Aegir whispered to himself, as the walls of his hall shook. When Thor strode into view, he pasted a smile onto his face. "Thor! What a... welcome surprise! What brings you here?"
Thor marched right up towards Aegir's throne and (Aegir tensed and prepared himself) scooped Aegir up in a bone-crushing hug, physically lifting him into the air.
Thor set him down after a few moments. Aegir let out a wheezing gasp, desperately drawing air back into his flattened lungs.
"Aegir!" Thor boomed.
"I can hear you," Aegir said weakly.
"The others and I," Thor said, "we were hoping to host a festival! A feast, you see?"
"...And?"
"And your hall is massive! The biggest of the Aesir!" Thor beamed. "And we were thinking -- you would be the natural host!"
Thor spread out his arms wide and looked hopeful.
"...No," Aegir said. Thor's face fell, and he rushed to continue. "Because I... don't have a kettle big enough to brew for all of you. You know? I'd need something massive. Like, bigger than both of us combined. I just couldn't do it."
Thor looked like a kicked puppy, but he slinked out of Aegir's hall with only a few more words exchanged. Aegir felt a //little// bad, but there was //no way// he was agreeing to host parties for the Aesir. Aegir knew what he'd be facing when he'd married Rán, but, yikes. Those Asgardians were... a lot.
Thankfully, he'd come up with an excuse good enough to end the conversation early. After all, he'd never really have to be worried about the Aesir finding a [[comically large kettle]]."I know where you could find a ridiculously huge kettle," Tyr said.
Thor straightened up, eyes glowing with interest. His search had born no fruit -- he'd resorted to going door-to-door through Asgard, asking if anyone could scrounge up a really big kettle.
"Truly?" Thor asked. "Where?"
"My father had one," Tyr said. "...More of a cauldron, really, but he likely still has it. Never used it, but kept it around. For some reason."
"Oh!" Thor practically vibrated with excitement. "This is wonderful news! Is your father willing to part with it?"
Tyr hummed. "I don't see why not," he said. "I'm overdue for a visit anyway."
"Wonderful!" Thor cheered. "[[We leave at once]]!"The bridge into Hymir's keep was sparsely guarded, by Thor's standards, and the few guards there had just waved them over the bridge. But no sooner had they started towards the keep than a massive creature appeared at the other end of the bridge, a massive, four-legged beast. It was covered in scales and its claws were sharp, and hundreds of long necks ended in hundreds of heads -- nine-hundred of them, Thor estimated at just a glance, all of them focused on the duo of Aesir.
Thor summoned Mjölnir and grinned, sharp and wide, but Tyr laid his hand on Thor's shoulder and held him back.
"Thor," Tyr sighed. "No. None of that."
"But-- the monster!" Thor said. Tyr shook his head, eyes shut. "Oh! A guardian of your father's keep, I presume? I can avoid killing it!"
"That's not a guardian, Thor," Tyr said. "That's my grandmother."
Thor let Mjölnir drop. "...Huh?"
"She hates me," Tyr added, resigned.
Before he could say another word, the beast -- Tyr's... grandmother(?) thundered across the bridge, spitting and snarling. It took Thor a moment to realize she was speaking.
//"Oh, look who's come crawling back to the keep! You never visit anymore, Tyr!"//
"I'm visiting now, grandmother," Tyr said.
//"Oh, now you are! I bet you only came back because you want something. You're too busy partying it up with those prissy Vanir!"//
"Please don't say things like that, grandmother..."
//"Hmmph! No respect for your dear grandmother these days. So high and mighty over in Asgard. Look at you! You're not even eating properly, are you? You're just skin and bones! And-- what happened to your hand?!"//
[[Tyr sighed.]]After the two of them had extricated them from that sticky situation (it had taken two hours), Tyr and Thor entered Hymir's keep itself. The keep itself wasn't anything spectacular, a humble thing made of stone, which made it all the odder when a servant girl approached the two of them, clad in literal gold.
"Tacky," Tyr whispered under his breath. He spoke louder for her to hear, "Do you happen to know if my father is around?"
"Lord Tyr," the girl said, surprised. "Ah, I believe he's coming in from a hunt just now. Shall I fetch him--?"
"No," Tyr interrupted quickly. "Don't tell him of us at all. Actually, do you know of any good hiding spots?"
Thor and the girl both seemed equally baffled, but Tyr merely offered them both a polite smile. After a moment, the girl nodded hesitantly and led the two of them away.
But in his impromptu plan to avoid any more family members, Tyr forgot one important thing: his mother liked to lurk in dark corners, and she had seen and heard the entire exchange, [[unnoticed by the Aesir.]]A few minutes later, when Hymir entered the keep, his beard frozen entirely solid, his wife spoke up, startling him. "Hymir, dear," she said, "our son came by to visit. With Thor. Odinsson, that is."
Hymir didn't take long to adjust to the surprise. "Ah!" he said. "A visit from Tyr! Rare, these days. Where is he, and this Thor?"
"The two of them are hiding."
"They're... hiding?" Hymir asked.
"Hiding," his wife confirmed. "In the kettles."
"With the really big one?"
"Presumably so."
Hymir sighed.
"I'll go wrangle that lad, don't you worry," Hymir said.
He marched over towards their collection of kettles and //glared,// and the sheer force of his gaze caused the pillar the Aesir hid behind to //explode// into chunks of rock and rubble. Fragments of kettles intermingled on the ground with the shattered stone, and only the absurdly big kettle, taller than Tyr and Thor combined, withstood.
Tyr muttered something rude under his breath.
Thor, meanwhile, strode forward. "Greetings, father of Tyr!" he boomed. When Thor went for the hug, Hymir grimaced and took three big steps back. Thor easily pivoted his arms into a crossed double thumbs-up, seemingly unbothered. "We thank you for allowing us into your home!"
"I... didn't," Hymir said. "But welcome regardless. Would you like a meal?"
"Please yes," Thor said.
"No," Tyr interrupted. "Father, we're here to take the big kettle. I assume you don't mind. We'll be out of your hair in a matter of moments."
Hymir clicked his tongue and stroked his beard, shedding melting frost onto the ground. "Rude boy," he said chidingly. "After your journey, at least stick around for dinner."
Tyr crossed his arms.
"Tyr, my friend, please," Thor asked. "I have not eaten in //thirty-nine whole minutes.// I've been counting."
The weight of Thor's pleading gaze was stronger than even his father's. "Fine," Tyr yielded. "But let's [[make it brief.]]"The stilted scatterings of conversation throughout dinner were so awkward even Thor noticed.
It was actually astounding. It wasn't like Thor was paying all that much attention to what was going on -- no, he was absolutely //destroying// two entire oxen, to the point that some of the other dinner-goers were scared.
"My, my," Hymir said, leaning away with a nervous chuckle. "You're certainly... enthusiastic!"
Thor nodded rapidly. He sighed, leaning back in his chair.
Hymir laughed. "No, but seriously," he said, voice flat, "you've eaten me out of house and home."
It took Thor a moment to process the comment. "Ah," he said. "My apologies, father of Tyr! I let my appetite get the better of me!"
Hymir offered him a tight-lipped smile and nodded. The table shared an unpleasant moment of silence before Thor shot up to his feet.
"We can go on a fishing trip!" Thor declared, shaking the table. "I am great at fishing!"
"That sounds like a great idea," Hymir said, casting a sly glance at Tyr. "My son--"
"No," Tyr interrupted, holding up the arm that ended at his wrist. The table fell back into awkward silence. "You go ahead. I'll certainly not be joining you."
Tyr stood from the table and stalked off, and both sides of the equation had agreed with the assumption that Tyr would be coming along, but they'd already agreed, so...
[[Thor and Hymir set out.]]Thor selected an entire oxen as his bait for fishing, which, well, Hymir had his doubts but he certainly wasn't going to argue with the slayer of giants. So they hoisted an oxen onto the boat and sailed out.
The lake around them was still. Hymir casted his line into the water.
"So, father of Tyr," Thor started.
Hymir let out a slow breath. If they were going to get into small-talk on this trip, well, there were going to be some problems.
No. No, this was Thor. Hymir would humor him. "Yes?"
There was a minute of silence. Hymir glanced at Thor to see he was wringing his hands.
"What was Tyr like when he was younger?" Thor asked.
The question took him off-guard. Hymir hesitated a moment. "...He was a quiet lad," he answered. "Studious. Smart. Always had a good heart."
"I see," Thor said. He was quiet, the most subdued he'd been the whole time Hymir had known him. "He's been... unhappy lately. Because of..."
"...The business with the wolf," Hymir said, keeping himself perfectly neutral, no sign of his own opinions on what he'd heard of that affair.
"Indeed," Thor said. "He's... sad, more. And quicker to anger."
"I've noticed," Hymir said.
"Could you..."
"I could attempt to speak with him," Hymir said. "But we... don't get along all that well. I think you'd have better luck, in all honesty."
"Ah," Thor said, and the two of them fell into silence.
It wasn't exactly an easy silence, but Hymir's discomfort had lessened by a hair. The lake was serene, and their boat bobbed gently.
There was a tug on his line.
Hymir reeled his line in and pulled two whole whales out of the water.
Thor's eyebrows shot up. "That's... quite an impressive haul!" he said, returning to his usual volume.
"It's a weird lake," Hymir answered, stowing the two whales away.
"Ha! Then allow me to prove my own skill!" Thor grinned and [[casted his line into the lake.]]Given his boisterous nature, his usual volume, his... general personality, Hymir had assumed Thor would be an awful fit for a fishing trip. He'd resigned himself to it, expecting an entirely mediocre experience.
But Thor surprised him. The Aesir was patient and quiet, poised to reel at a moment's notice. The atmosphere was almost nice. (//Almost.//)
Eventually Thor locked eyes with him and grinned. A catch, then. Hymir sat back and waited to see what Thor would pull up. He hoped Thor wouldn't disappoint.
Thor pulled at the line... and then grunted as the fishing rod nearly slipped from his fingers.
"Thor?" Hymir said, lips twitching into a smirk.
"One second," Thor said. He stood up straight, and then leaned back, pulling the line up with all of his strength. His face slowly turned red, and sweat started to trickle down his face.
"...Thor?" Hymir said, after a minute of struggling.
"I've got this," Thor wheezed.
Thor adjusted his footing -- the boat rocked and Hymir grabbed hold of the sides -- and Thor ''pulled.''
A gargantuan figure erupted form the lake, sending water spraying like a torrent of rain. The boat bobbed, and Hymir gasped as he was drenched. ANd before them, a figure so tall it blocked their view of the sun, as large as a mountain. Hymir squinted -- it was a muted green color, and it took him a moment to realize it was adorned with scales.
Hymir looked further up.
A single eye stared down at them, slitted and strikingly yellow.
//"Jörmungandr!"// Hymir gasped.
"The Midgard Serpent!" Thor agreed.
The Midgard Serpent's jaws were still locked tightly around his own tail, but it seemed that Thor's cast had gotten stuck into the Serpent's teeth.
There was a moment of shocked silence.
Then, Jörmungandr dived, sinking back into the water. Thor startled as his fishing rod whirled... and the boat started to move.
"It's trying to drag us under!" Thor said.
"Drop the line, then!" Hymir said.
"No, wait! I've got this!"
Thor steadied his footing and their boat rocketed forth, dragged by the Midgard Serpent underneath the surface of the water. The boat jerked to one side, then the other. It circled around and bobbed up and down. Hymir grabbed hold of the sides of the boat and held tight.
Something slammed into them from below. The boat flew straight up into the air -- Thor nearly tumbled off the boat entirely -- and then they fell.
Their boat went underwater.
Jörmungandr had claimed the advantage, and he wasted no time in utilizing that fact. The massive snake tugged on the line, and the boat sank...
Hymir shivered, holding fast, but Thor lost his footing and drifted upwards. Eyes burning, Thor jabbed his feet downwards -- kicking straight through the boat, lodging himself into the wood.
The boat slammed into the bottom of the lake, and Thor dug his heels into the lakebed, halting their movement.
Everything in the lake was still for a moment, and then the Midgard Serpent lunged for the boat. The lake was murky and dark, but the massive shape that was Jörmungandr was still visible.
Thor squared his shoulders, set his feet in, and pulled at the line.
//Fuck this,// Hymir thought, and he pulled a knife from his belt, darted forward, and slashed the line.
Thor stumbled back as the line was cut, and Jörmungandr slammed into their boat instead of the thunder god himself. Where they'd just been pulled down, now they flew up, up, up, right on out of the lake.
The two of them slammed onto the beach, water cascading down around them. The shattered remnants of the boat fell beside them, the wood smashed into splinters.
Hymir wrung water out from his beard. Thor groaned.
"Weird fucking lake," Hymir muttered.
[["I had that,"]] Thor whined.They were back at the dining table.
Hymir and Thor had returned, still drenched to the bone -- but at least they had those whales.
Tyr squinted at the two of them as they shuffled in. The awkward air between the two of them was... well, still there, in all honesty, but for different reasons.
Tyr apparently figured it wasn't worth looking into, because he simply slumped in his seat. Hymir wondered how long he'd been waiting here.
But now it was time to... what even was the plan, again?
Oh! Right! His son was here for an overly large kettle. But Hymir knew he couldn't just //give// the kettle away, that would be ridiculous. That whole... fishing trip... that had been a distraction and a half, but ultimately this Thor fellow still needed to be tested.
"Wait right there," Hymir said, and he ducked out of the hall.
Thor sat down at the table and grinned. "I rather think your father likes me!" he said.
"He can at least tolerate you," Tyr admitted.
Hymir strode back into the room, grinning widely. He set down a cup onto the table.
"This is my [[unbreakable chalice]]," Hymir said. "Break it."Instantly, Tyr put his head into his hand and groaned, long and exhausted.
"Not the cup thing," Tyr whispered.
"Come, now, brave Thor," Hymir goaded. "It is merely a cup. Break it."
Thor stood up straight, oozing confidence. (He had, of course, learned nothing from the Outyards Incident.) "I will prove my strength and earn your undying respect, Proud Hymir," Thor declared, striding over towards the chalice.
He smashed his fist down onto the chalice and hissed when it didn't even bend.
Hymir smiled.
"No issue," Thor declared, picking the chalice up. He tried to pull it apart, but found the cup unyielding. With a huff, he tossed it onto the ground and stomped on it, but all that managed was to loosen his balance. "What...?"
Tyr watched, exasperated. Hymir smiled.
"This calls for drastic measures, then!" Thor declared, and with a flourish he summoned Mjölnir to his hand. Lightning crackled, and he swung, smashing down at the chalice. The floor cracked, the table was charred, and the chalice was completely unharmed.
"What?!" Thor cried. "What trickery is this?!"
Thor whirled, eyes burning. Hymir smiled.
"It's enchanted, Thor," Tyr said. "Toss it against my father's head."
"Tyr!" Hymir said, scandalized.
Thor let Mjölnir disappear and picked up the chalice. Hymir frowned, somewhat petulant, and Thor flung it into his head. The chalice shattered.
"Well," Hymir said, "you've broken the chalice. You've... technically proven yourself. You can have my [[unreasonably huge kettle]].""Please try to come and visit a bit more often!" Tyr's mother requested.
"I will," Tyr said.
"Don't steal any more kettles," Hymir said.
"I won't," Tyr said.
"This was not theft!" Thor boomed, with the stupidly big kettle held above his head. "I won it valiantly, and fairly!"
"...You sure did," Hymir said.
As Thor staggered off with kettle in hands, Hymir regarded his son.
"You know," Hymir said, hesitated. Tyr raised an eyebrow. Hymir coughed. "...You'll always have a place here, you know. If you ever need it."
Tyr's lips quirked into the slightest approximation of a smile. "I know," he sighed. "Thank you."
Slowly, Hymir wrapped him in a hug. Tyr reciprocated. It was just a tad awkward.
"HYMIR," Thor shouted, "I THINK THIS MAN I JUST KICKED ACTUALLY WORKED FOR YOU! [[I'M SO SORRY]]--"//"Aegir, my friend!"//
Aegir resisted the urge to slam his head into the wall. "Thor!" he said. "What brings you back here so soon! I thought //what the fuck are you carrying?!//"
"I come bearing the kettle requested!" Thor boomed. "Larger than the two of us combined! Now we can throw that feast that we all wanted!"
Aegir gaped, shell-shocked, as Thor carried in a stupidly huge kettle and planted it in the middle of the hall.
Thor grinned up at Aegir, shining and joyous.
Tyr strode in after Thor, smirking like the cat that ate the canary.
//[[Fucking Aesir,]]// Aegir thought.<center>And so the Aesir got their party in Aegir's hall!
And Aegir's hall became the natural feasting place for all of the Aesir afterwards.
Everyone was happy with this arrangement!
Yes, that's right.
Everyone.</center>